Sometimes I really wish I was financially fortunate enough to do things like visit another country or go to a really nice school and live there or even just have a nicer car that I don’t fear for the life of.
I mean I guess it’s cool that I have to learn for myself and save up for things like that but I don’t know just one of those three things would make my life 80% less stupid and 5 million % more rad
Long friendships/relationships are weird because when you think about what it was like when you met this person and how you are now it completely changes.
This person goes from someone new and refreshing that you feel inclined to tell all your deepest secrets, fears, and thoughts to— to someone who you see so often that you want to get away and you end up keeping secrets from them. It’s really interesting.
You go from clearing your day to see or talk to this person to ignoring them or forgetting to respond for the next best thing. It’s like toys you repeatedly replace in your childhood: one new one comes in, one old one gets forgotten.
I’m not saying this is how I feel in my relationships, because it’s not. I just always find myself fearing that this is how people in my life are seeing me and all I want to do is be their favorite toy.
I would like some peace of mind, I’ve got such a heavy heart. And you were broken down, before you had a chance to start.